Monday, May 23, 2016

Mystic Creation Called "Chikki"

Sometimes I wonder about these mystic creations called “Chikki’s/Maasi’s/Aunts” and why is that kids find them so adorable.  Probably because only a Chikki can give hugs like mother, Keeps secrets like a sister and share love like a friend. 
Even before the kids are born one person to celebrate the most on the news of the arrival of the little ones is Chikki. May it be the creating collages to welcome the little ones, drawing posters, writing poems or collecting goodies to gift the new born Chikki is always the first. Joy of motherhood doubles with excitement on her being around as though she is experiencing the joy of being a second mother to the little one. Indeed Chikki is always a second mother who so naturally gets in to the habit of caring & pampering that sometimes I wonder how this girl who always wanted to be center of attraction and get pampered the most in the family subtly and happily withdraws to shower it all to the little ones.

My daughter is 3 years of age and for her the greatest admiration in the family is her Chikki( my sister). She loves her purse, makeup, bangles,  watches , flip-flops almost all her belongings. When Chikki is around it is a great surge of excitement for my daughter and she is engaged all through, playing with and admiring her belongings. My son loves his Chikki’s presence especially her playful cuddles so much so that he wants only her to feed him, bathe him and put him off to sleep whenever she is around.  I know that their wonderful Chikki while throwing tantrums, acting pricey loves this attention and affection.

Today I can say one of the best part of motherhood is having a loving sister and an adorable Chikki around, who not only doubles the joy by her care but also can be irrationally crazy about her niece and nephew much beyond awesomeness.  Hats off to you Spond for bringing this ecstasy and wonderful memories in our lives. Way to Go……

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Journey of Parenthood

Today I went to drop my kids to schools, when in elevator my 3 year old daughter waved goodbye to her grandmother and said that she will be back home soon. May be she felt that these words would be assurance for her grandmother, who would be waiting to receive her back from her school.

Kids think feel process the information and react even before we think they would and they grow up before we even realize it. This makes me often think of what is it to parent a child? I see many people reading parenting books and creating equations to discipline their children. I am not an ardent believer of these parenting books and I feel every child is unique and requires a champion in their life to mentor them. How a child behaves or in fact how all us behave is the combination of factors like “our past life habits, our peer groups, our family and our society in large”. Even though all these factors play a role, researches have indicated that parents and the environment at home can be the major influencer of their personality.

These day I see so many couples fighting and when asked what they feel their kids would think about that, they respond by saying that they don’t fight in front of their kids. But they fail to acknowledge that Kids catch these subtle vibrations at home very quickly and develop their own negative mental prototypes which can emerge unknowingly as a negative emotion in the later part of their lives. Many a time parents are too exhausted to even talk to kids about how was their day? It is believed that because of this kids are more intellectually advanced but more emotionally vulnerable these days. These emotionally weak and vulnerable kids grow up in to adults and enter in to relationships with other emotionally vulnerable human beings, and then the problem in relationships emerges. Both being emotionally weak are constantly expecting love, respect understanding from each other and neither of them will be in the state to give the positive energy to other. This results in fights to get energy fulfillment by depleting other person of energy. When that doesn’t sustain for long these emotionally vulnerable individuals start looking for external sources to get the momentary contentment. External sources could be through addictions or through new relationships hoping to get some positive energy from yet another emotionally vulnerable person.

To a greater extent this can be controlled if kids are groomed to become emotionally healthy starting from their childhood. To do that parents need to be emotionally healthy because child primarily learns from what it sees rather than what is being taught. So it becomes imperative for us as parents to understand ourselves and grow emotionally so that we can play a role of that champion mentor in our child’s life. It is not a mantra, an equation or a tactic but a life skill that is a...... constant evolving journey.